


please let this be a normal field trip

by pipercase



Category: South Park
Genre: Field Trip, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 13:31:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19465015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pipercase/pseuds/pipercase
Summary: Kyle really needs to come to terms with his crush on Cartman, especially now that they’ll be sharing a tent for a week





	please let this be a normal field trip

South Park, contrary to popular belief, was not an extraordinary town. Despite its reputation, it was really quite average. In fact, there were days when it could even be described as boring.

Still, though, the rumors persisted. South Park must have been built on a burial ground, out-of-towners would say, remarking on the latest catastrophe that had taken place there. If I’d grown up in South Park, I’d be crazy too.

The issue never existed within the town, actually; it existed inside its people. It existed within four boys in particular. Stan Marsh, Kenny McCormick, Kyle Broflovski, and finally, unforgettably, Eric Cartman.

Not many people would dispute the fact that these boys brought the town of South Park nothing but trouble. Chaos always seemed to trail behind them like a fog, and when it dispersed they took it upon themselves to chase it down.

And no one saw their flaws with more clarity than Craig Tucker and his friends. They’d grown up in South Park for their whole lives too, and they weren’t constantly getting into international bullshit or crazed capers. What gave Stan and his friends the right to be so goddamn annoying all the time?

So in the winter of the boys’ junior year, when the school principal announced that their class would be going on a week longcamping trip that March, everyone prayed to whatever entity they believed in that they wouldn’t be placed in a group with Stan or any of his friends.

The students would all be assigned tents in groups of three or four, and everyone would spend the week participating in various semi educational outdoor activities. It sounded fun in theory, but by this point the kids of South Park High School had come to expect all of their field trips to dissolve into insanity.

There was that time in fourth grade when they went to the living museum at Pioneer Village and ended up being held hostage by a group of violent robbers, and then there was the time in middle school when Cartman released all the tigers in the zoo. Given this wild history, no one really expected this camping trip to go smoothly.

Every one knew that their tent assignments would be posted directly after school on the Friday before the trip, and there had been more than a few complaints about everyone’s lack of opportunity to choose tent mates for themselves. It was restrictive and condescending, they argued. They were practically adults now, and all the adults in town still treated them like children. And besides that, everyone was nervous to see who they’d be forced to live with for a week.

On that fateful Friday afternoon, Clyde Donovan made sure to push himself to the front of the throngs of juniors waiting in line for the tent lists. He and his friends had spent the previous few days commiserating about the fact that they most likely wouldn’t be rooming together, and he wanted to be the first to see who each of them would be staying with.

Needless to say, not everyone in his friend group was lucky enough to be staying in one tent. Clyde was happy with his group, which was made up of himself, Token, Jimmy, and Kevin Stoley. This arrangement sounded fun for him, but it left Tweek and Craig in a...less desirable position.

Such an undesirable position, in fact, that Clyde felt compelled to tell them about it himself when he saw they hadn’t stayed after to see for themselves. It would be better to hear it from someone close to them, he decided. You know, like when you tell someone they’ve been cheated on. Or tell them about their mom’s cancer diagnosis. After checking out the tent assignments and giving Jimmy a celebratory high five, Clyde headed outside to find his more unfortunate friends.

Tweek and Craig were sitting on a bench outside the school when Clyde approached, Tweek’s head resting in the crook of Craig’s shoulder as they laughed about something. Clyde considered just leaving them to have their moment, but Craig glanced upward and met his eyes just as he turned to leave.

“Something wrong, Clyde?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

The question alerted Tweek, who lifted his head and smiled in greeting.

“Uh. Hey, guys.” Clyde said with a forced chuckle. “What’s up?”

Craig shook his head, and Tweek narrowed his eyes. They immediately recognized that their friend was behaving rather strangely.

“Just tell us what’s going on.” Craig said firmly.

Clyde sighed. He was gonna hate seeing his friends’ reaction to this, but they were gonna find out sooner or later. Besides, now that he’d brought it up it wasn’t like he could just stop talking.

“Well....” 

“Clyde, just fucking say—“

“I just got back from looking at the tent assignments.”

“...and?”

He grimaced, hoping that the look would just speak for itself. Tweek’s face was becoming colored with familiar concern, but Craig just looked intensely irritated. He knew exactly what Clyde was getting at.

“And what percentage of the fucking dream team is included in our group?” He asked gravely, teeth already clenched.

There was no need to specify further, because the contempt in his voice said it all. Who else but Stan’s gang could evoke such utter resentment? Clyde cringed.

“Fifty percent.” He said, sounding sympathetic.

Tweek let out a screech, his hand finding Craig’s instinctively and squeezing the life out of it. Craig didn’t even flinch. 

“Half of them?!” Tweek asked incredulously. “Oh, Jesus! Which two is it? Please let it be Stan and Kenny. Or Stan and Kyle. Just don’t let it be-!” 

“It’s Cartman and Kyle.” Clyde interrupted nervously. “Sorry, guys.”

Craig rolled his eyes impossibly far back into his head, and one of Tweek’s palms flew up to smack himself squarely in the forehead.

“This is gonna be the most stressful trip of my life!” He shrieked.

Clyde only nodded grimly as Craig attempted to console him. Rooming with Kyle and Cartman surely meant that his friends were in for a week of screaming, plotting, and...frankly, some weird underlying sexual tension. Hm. That last part made his nose scrunch up as he sat on Tweek’s other side, giving him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.

••••

“What genius thought it was a good idea to put Cartman and Kyle in the same tent together?” Kenny asked with a laugh, kicking at a stray pencil that had ended up on the ground.

Stan watched it slide gracelessly across the linoleum floor and sighed, shaking his head. He and Kenny had just checked out the tent assignment list, and now they had to make sure their friends weren’t freaking out about it. . 

“I know, dude. I didn’t think anyone could be that far out of the loop.” Stan said, sounding pretty much indifferent. 

“Especially when, like, nothing has changed between them since we were freaking babies. You’d think the teachers would understand by now that those two assholes are like baking soda and vinegar.” 

Stan shook his head, expressing some combination of boredom and annoyance. Having to listen to Cartman and Kyle scream at each other every day was enough to exhaust anyone.

“Where are they now anyway? I’m supposed to give Cartman a ride a home.”

Kenny simply gestured toward an upcoming corner, veering the two of them toward the library. 

“They started whisper fighting about something during last period, and I think I saw them heading in here after the bell rang.” 

“Of course they’re fighting.” Stan groaned.“God, tearing Cartman away from a fight with Kyle is gonna be impossible.”

Kenny laughed, pushing open the library doors and ushering Stan ahead of him. The two boys didn’t have to look far to find their friends, who were standing a few feet ahead and speaking in voices far from being appropriate for a library.

“Dear God.” Stan muttered, heading toward them nonetheless.

Cartman was hunched over one of the school’s desktop computers as Kyle stood over his shoulder glaring.

“These computers are total shit, fatass.” He said irritably. “Why the fuck couldn’t you just look this up on your phone?”

“Because, Kyle,” Cartman said smugly, “I want to show you how wrong you are on a full sized screen.”

He clicked the link to some article that had come up, using a fat finger to point to a newspaper headline. When he put his hand down, a finger print was left on the computer.

“Look!” He cried. “It says right here, Kyle: Bigfoot Sighting In Fosston, Minnesota! I told you he was real!” 

“Just because someone in some tiny hick town says they saw something, doesn’t mean they did.” Kyle said pointedly.

“You can’t disparage tiny hick towns when we live in one, Kyle.”

“Fine! Then I’m not disparaging hick towns. I’m disparaging stupid people. And that label happens to include anyone who genuinely believes in the existence of Bigfoot!”

Cartman narrowed his eyes, but before he could snap back Stan stepped forward, an irritated expression on his face. 

“Let’s go, Cartman.” Stan said, jabbing a thumb toward the library exit. “I have way too much fucking homework to still be standing around here with you assholes.” 

Cartman frowned, both he and Kyle looking somewhat disappointed to have their fight interrupted.

“Can’t you see I’m busy here?” Cartman asked.

“I’m leaving with or without you, fatass.” Stan said simply.

Cartman appeared to weigh his options, glancing up at Kyle and then back at Stan, whose jaw was tightening with impatience.

“You should go, Cartman.” Kyle said, crossing his arms. “We have a physics test tomorrow and you got a 72 on the last one.”

Cartman grumbled but stood from his chair, spinning around to look Kyle in the eye. 

“Fine. But don’t think this is over, Kyle. I have the entire field trip to prove you wrong.” 

“Wonderful.” Stan said sarcastically. “Now let’s get out of here. Kyle, Kenny: do either of you want a ride?”

Both boys shook their heads.

“Nah, dude.” Kyle said. “I’ve got chess club in like five minutes.”

“Right.” Kenny agreed. “And I’m supposed to be retaking a math test like...now.”

“Alright, great. See you guys tomorrow. Good luck on your test, Ken.”

Stan walked a few steps backward toward the door, shooting his friends a wave goodbye as he did so. Cartman strapped on his backpack and caught up with him. 

“Have fun at your nerd club, Kyle.” He sang with a smirk. Kyle rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, thanks. Don’t forget to fucking study this time!” 

Cartman stuck his tongue out but didn’t respond, following Stan out the back door without another word from either of them. Kenny waved for a moment before turning his attention to Kyle.

“Aren’t you’d sweet, looking after your boyfriend’s grades?” He teased.

Kyle’s head snapped toward him instantly, his eyes wide with alarm.

“Excuse me?”

“‘Don’t forget to study this time!’” Kenny said, his voice raised in a high pitched imitation of Kyle’s. “Come on, dude. Just marry him already.” 

“Will you stop it with that?” Kyle shot back. “Is this because of that fucking sleepover? 

Kenny faltered for a moment, confused, before his eyes lit up in recognition. He’d totally forgotten about that moment at the sleepover last month, actually, and now he was grateful to Kyle for having reminded him.

“Oh, how could I have forgotten? The sleepover.” 

Kyle put his head in his hands, immediately regretting having said anything. He was referring to a sleepover at Stan’s house that he and his friends had had when some new video game came out, during which Kenny had caught he and Cartman in a rather private moment. 

“The two of you were practically cuddling.” Kenny said gleefully.

“We were not.” Kyle retorted.

He’d been woken up that night around 3 a.m. by a whimpering sound, and upon glancing around the Marsh’s basement he’d seen Cartman sat up in his sleeping bag and muffling sobs in the palm of his hand. 

“Woah, Cartman. Dude.” He’d said drowsily, climbing out of his own sleeping bag to crawl toward him in the darkness.

Startled, Cartman had whipped his head in Kyle’s direction and effectively halted his own flow of tears. His face was red, and he was glowering at Kyle with unmatched intensity. 

“Fuck off, Kyle.” He’d hissed instantly, his embarrassment giving way to fury. “Leave me alone you fucking ginger asshole.” 

“I’m not a ginger.” Kyle had said simply, nearing him. “Did you have a nightmare?”

The concept of Cartman having nightmares wasn’t something completely foreign to him. There had been a few moments during previous sleepovers when he’d awoke with a startled gasp or sharp cry, but Kyle had never seen him look so broken up afterward. 

“That’s none of your business, is it? God, I hate you.”

Kyle glared.

“I’m trying to help you, asshole.” He hissed.

“I don’t need your help.” Cartman shot back, his voice filled with just as much venom.

Kyle felt his blood begin to boil at that, but he told himself to calm down. Cartman was only being defensive because he was he was embarrassed, and Kyle knew that. 

“Well, one of us was crying a few seconds ago, fatass, and it sure as hell wasn’t me.” He said.

Cartman actually looked offended by that, his jaw dropping in disbelief. He was pretty much done crying at this point, Kyle noticed, but his face was still bright red.

“You’re so fucking lame, Kyle.”

Kyle rolled his eyes but ignored the comment, choosing instead to scoot even closer and rest a tentative hand on Eric’s shoulder. 

“Listen, Cartman.” He whispered, shifting awkwardly. “You’re...you know. You’re gonna be fine.

Without giving it much thought, Kyle opened his arms. When Cartman just stared at him blankly, he initiated the contact himself by leaning in. Eric stiffened briefly but almost instantly relaxed, wrapping his arms tightly around Kyle.

If it weren’t for Kenny, lying inconspicuously nearby and eavesdropping, the interaction might have come and gone without further comment.

Unfortunately, though, Kenny had witnessed the whole thing and hadn’t stopped tormenting Kyle about it since.

“Are you sure about that, dude?” He asked now. “Because it sure looked like cuddling to me.”

Kyle laughed sharply.

“Yeah, right. As if I’d ever cuddle with someone who believes in Bigfoot.” He said, deflecting.

“Why do you continue to fight with him, dude?” Kenny asked teasingly. “If you stop giving him attention, he’ll shut up about the whole thing.”

Kyle avoided eye contact, looking past Kenny and toward the 290 Dewey Decimal section. He didn’t have a firm rebuttal to Kenny’s point, and they both knew it. They both knew, as everyone did, they Kyle would continue to engage with Cartman no matter what. It was just how the two of them operated.

“Ugh, Kenny. He’s just annoying, okay? I’d like it if he would shut up for once.”

Kenny laughed, shaking his head.

“That explanation makes no sense, Ky! I think both of us know that Cartman will shut up the second he stops getting his precious Kyle’s attention. So why don’t you just—oh, I don’t know! Stop giving it to him?”

Kyle groaned, his right hand blooming into a subconscious fist. Kenny’s knowing smirk was driving him crazy.

“When did this turn into an interrogation?” He demanded hotly. “Cartman and I like to argue about things, so what? Did you just move here or something?”

Kenny cackled, gripping Kyle’s shoulder and giving it a friendly squeeze.

“No I didn’t, Kyle, and that’s the point! I’ve spent my entire life watching you two chase each other around like lions during mating season.”

Kyle seemed to take issue with the metaphor, letting out a guttural sound of frustration as his face turned pink.

“You’re blushing.” Kenny said matter of factly. Kyle couldn’t exactly argue with that. 

“Okay, whatever!” He said, visibly embarrassed by the entire conversation. “I obviously...care about him. Can we be done talking about it now?” 

Kenny smiled almost proudly, thrilled to hear the confession straight from Kyle’s mouth.

“You have a crush on Eric Cartman.” He said smugly, clearly on the verge of laughter.

“Fuck off.”

“You know, people say Craig is whipped, but at least he and Tweek are actually dating. At least he isn’t that far gone for his worst enemy.”

Kyle’s eyes turned to daggers, first fixing Kenny with an intense scowl. Kenny was hardly intimidated, though, reaching out a hand to ruffle his hair. Kyle jerked away.

“Just shut the hell up, Kenny.”

Kenny’s only response was a laugh, unbothered and secure in the knowledge that he had once again been right about something one of his friends had attempted to conceal.

•••• 

As far as Cartman was concerned, Kyle was just about the most attractive guy on the planet. Justin Bieber was a close second, but he’d still choose Kyle over him any day. Especially since Justin was such a fucking pussy.

Kyle, on the other hand, was basically the farthest thing from a pussy that a person could be. He was so fucking...ugh. Not only was he some kind of genius, but he could really throw a punch. And he never, ever backed down from a fight. Cartman collapsed onto his bed and groaned.

It was almost midnight, which meant it was way too late to still be up and thinking about Kyle, but he couldn’t help it. Kyle’s name had been permanently inked onto the inside of his brain since he was a kid. Cartman sighed and stood back up from his bed, suddenly compelled to pace. 

His cat Polly, named after one of his old dolls, padded curiously across the carpet. Cartman smiled fondly. Looking at her, as it always did, made his heart swell with joy. He’d cried for days when Mr Kitty died, and Polly had done a considerable amount to ease the pain of that loss.

In fact, the day he first met her was one of his nicest memories in recent history.

It had been almost a month after Mr Kitty died, which Eric found to be a suitable mourning period. He managed to convince Stan drive him and the guys to the humane society after school, and he rambled the entire way over about how badly he wanted a new cat.

While Stan had dragged Kenny off to play with the dogs, Kyle had followed Cartman all the way back to the part of the building where they kept the cats. 

“Aren’t you allergic to cats?” Cartman asked, side eyeing Kyle as they stepped into the room.

Kyle shrugged, looking vaguely sheepish, as he made his way over to one of the crates lining the walls. 

“Kind of. Look at this one, Cartman!”

He peered through the bars of the cage and grinned at the animal staring back at him: a brown, shorthaired tabby. She looked very young, Cartman noticed. The label said that she was female and unnamed.

“They didn’t even give her a name, dude!” Kyle cried. “That’s so sad.”

“That is really sad.” Cartman admitted.

He came up behind Kyle, walking quietly as to not scare the kitten away. The second his eyes met hers he felt a rush of love. 

“Oh my god.” He said, hearing his own voice crack when he spoke. 

Wordlessly, Kyle opened the door to the cat’s cage and carried her out. Cartman saw that he wasn’t holding her quite right, but the look of sincere focus on his face as he handed her off to Eric made up for it. 

Polly squirmed only briefly in Cartman’s grip before relaxing. Kyle opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by one of the most beautiful sounds Eric had ever heard. Polly purred, and the sound was enough to make Kyle’s mouth snap shut.

“Holy shit.” Cartman said. “I need her.”

He looked to Kyle for some sign of agreement and saw that he was lost in his own world, gazing at the kitten in Eric’s arms. 

“She likes you, Cartman!” He quietly declared.

His words and face both echoed the same fragile sense of wonder. The look on his face, so genuinely awestruck, was perhaps the most endearing thing Cartman had ever seen in his life.

Kyle burst into an unrestrained bout of laughter, the sound spilling from his mouth in an expression of pure joy. Almost shyly, he brought up a hand to pet Polly along her back.

It was in that instant, more than ever, that Cartman knew how much he needed this cat. Any animal that could elicit such a joyous response from Kyle had to be special.

That moment had happened months ago, but Cartman could still recall it so vividly. God, how fucking gay. Now, he looked to his bedroom floor where Polly stood.

“What do you think, Polly?” He asked, sweeping her into his arms. “Should I tell Kyle how I feel about him?”

He paused for a moment and held the cat in front of him, giving her time to decide whether or not she was going to answer. She blinked. 

“Of course, Eric!” He said, raising his voice to a high pitch that he could only assume she would speak with. “You’re totally awesome and cool!”

He sighed wistfully and scratched behind her ear. 

“I know, Polly.” He said. “But sometimes other people don’t really appreciate how great I am. If Kyle rejected me, I’d have to commit harakiri or something to cope with the shame!”

Once again Polly just stared silently at him, her green eyes seeming large and pensive. Cartman stuck his tongue out. 

“Sometimes you’re really not all that helpful, you know. Fucking bitch.”

•••• 

The day of the field trip was the following Monday, and the students were told to meet outside the school at three in the afternoon to depart at 3:30. If everything went according to plan, they’d be at their destination by five o’ clock. Kenny, whose family certainly couldn’t afford to buy him a car, walked into the parking lot around 3:15.

“Stanleyyy.” Kenny sang as soon as he saw Stan, pulling him in by the crook of the arm.

Stan didn’t resist, letting himself be dragged toward his friend. Kenny smiled at the look of utter confusion on his face.

“We should sit together on the bus, okay?” He said.

Stan shrugged. He would normally sit with Kyle on bus rides, but it wasn’t like this would be problem. Kenny was one of his best friends, so sitting with him would be cool, too. The only issue might be with the remaining two members of their friend group.

“Fine by me, but what about Cartman and Kyle? Are they capable of sitting that close without killing each other?” Stan asked.

“They’re gonna have to get used to it if they’re gonna be sleeping in the same goddamn tent for the next few days.” 

“Fair enough.” Stan responded with a sigh. “When are they getting here, by the way?” 

Before Kenny could respond, he was distracted by the sound of a blue Honda Civic that veered suddenly into the parking lot and sped past he and Stan. He caught a glimpse of Kyle in the passenger’s seat, gripping onto his ceiling handle for dear life.

“Ah.” Kenny said with a laugh. “Looks like everyone’s favorite power couple has arrived.”

He and Stan walked over to where the blue car parked, consequently stumbling into the tail end of a screaming match. Kyle slammed his door angrily, and Cartman stepped out casually from the driver’s side with a pair of sunglasses balanced on his head.

“Oh my god, Kyle, quit your bitching!” He said, his tone as nasty as ever. “I’m a perfectly safe driver.” 

Kyle growled, walking around the car to give Cartman a hearty shove. 

“You were going 50 in a 35! You could’ve killed us both!”

Deciding it was in everyone’s best interest to put an end to this fight before it got more heated, Stan put a calming hand on Kyle’s shoulder.

“Chill, dude.” He advised. “You’re fine.” 

Thankfully, Kyle’s anger melted away at his best friend’s touch. There were times when all it took to stop Kyle from acting absolutely insane was a brief nod or impossible to read expression from Stan. Impossible to read for any one except the two of them, at least. 

“Shut up, asshole.” Kyle replied with a smirk. “That’s real easy for you to say when you weren’t in Cartman’s death machine.” 

Stan laughed and redirected the conversation, electing to ask Kyle about his classes so he’d forget about he and Cartman’s fight. Thank god, Kenny thought. He was afraid he’d have to listen to the “Is Cartman a dangerous driver?” debate for the entire bus ride. It definitely wouldn’t be the first time a bus ride had been ruined by Kyle and Cartman yelling at each other. 

The four of them followed the rest of their junior class into the school’s gym, where a teacher was calling out the names of students who would be sitting on each of the three buses. Kyle felt slightly resentful as he listened to her. It was yet another designation being made without any student input at all.

“Cool.” Stan said when the last name had been called. “We’re all on the same bus.”

A second teacher spoke into a megaphone, telling the kids they were free to begin filing on to their respective buses. Kyle grinned at Stan as they stepped outside. 

“Sit with me on the bus, dude?” He asked. Stan smiled apologetically.

“Sorry, Kyle. Kenny called dibs.”

At that Kenny wedged his way in between the two of them, putting an arm around Stan’s shoulders. Kyle looked genuinely offended. 

“What?” He asked. “Stan, we always sit together!”

“Exactly!” Kenny said. “I thought it’d be nice to mix things up...and give you and Cartman some time to adjust to being in such close proximity to each other.”

Kyle scoffed, annoyed, and looked over at Cartman. He expected that he would back him up, loudly protesting that he would never in a million years sit next to Kyle for an entire ninety minutes. Instead, he just looked indifferent.

“That might actually be a good idea, Kyle.” He pointed out. “You’re gonna have to get used to me.” 

Looking around at his friends, it was clear to Kyle that it was three against one. And while yes, he could just sit with someone else entirely, there was a part of him that was a little bit pleased to be sitting next to Cartman. Fuck, he thought. There goes my stupid crush again. 

“Fine.” He conceded. “But I’m taking the aisle seat, fatass.” 

Cartman merely shrugged as he led the way onto the bus, taking them all the way to the back row. It was where they’d sat on every bus ride since any of them could remember. After only a few minutes of getting settled and sitting around, the buses began to pull out of the parking lot.

Kyle smiled to himself as they did. Despite their shared history of rocky field trips, he had a feeling that this one would be fun for he and his friends. He’d been camping with Stan and his uncles a few times before, and that had always been fun. It might be even better this time, when he wouldn’t have to deal with Stan puking after Jimbo shot a deer or gutted a fish.

As the buses moved forward and Kenny started telling everyone about his brother’s new tattoo, Kyle found himself distracted by Cartman. But for once, it wasn’t because he was doing anything purposefully annoying. He was being pretty quiet, actually. It was just what seemed like every ten seconds he would let out an obnoxiously loud yawn. It was making it pretty hard to focus on Kenny’s story.

“That’s the twelfth time you’ve yawned since we got on the bus Cartman.” Kyle finally pointed out, turning to face him. “Why are you so tired?”

Cartman waved a hand in the air dismissively, hoping to alleviate the subtleconcern on Kyle’s face.

“I couldn’t get to sleep last night. What, are you worried or something?”

Kyle glared at him. Truthfully, he had felt a small, stupid twinge of concern. But he would sooner sacrifice his 4.0 GPA than admit that.

“Yeah, right. Go to sleep, Cartman.” 

Cartman stuck out his tongue and twisted into a semi fetal position, squeezing as much of himself as he could fit into the small half of the bus seat as Kyle turned away and continued to chat with Stan and Kenny.

Cartman had always hated sleeping while sitting up. It was impossible to get comfortable, and he always woke up afterward with a sore neck. It seemed as though his exhaustion won out over his stubbornness on this bus trip, though, because it wasn’t long before he was drifting off into a somewhat restless sleep. 

As per usual, Kyle was cast as the star of most of his dreams. There was a kiss at one point, but it was quick and casual. In the dream world, it seemed, he and Kyle were already in some stable, comfortable, long term relationship.

The sequences were blurry and disjointed, but the general message was clear: he had hella feelings for Kyle, and he seriously needed to work through them. As though that wasn’t obvious enough.

He woke shortly after, unsatisfied with the amount of sleep he’d gotten and blinking to adjust to the light. The first thing he saw was Kenny, wiggling his eyebrows at him from across the aisle. Just as he was about to ask him what the fuck he was doing, Cartman realized that his neck was not hurting nearly as much as he thought it would be. He turned around and looked up, directly into Kyle’s eyes.

God fucking damnit. How had managed to fall asleep with his head on Kyle’s chest? Kyle was smiling in that sweet, awkward way he did sometimes in uncomfortable situations.

“Uh, you fell asleep.” He said, his tone almost apologetic. “I didn’t want to wake you up.”

Cartman realized then that he was still lying all snuggled up in Kyle’s chest and hurriedly sat up. 

“Fuck. You better not have tried to molest me in my sleep, Kyle!” He hissed.

The suggestion was so comical that Kyle had to bite back a laugh, and he shot an elbow into Cartman’s side in place of an argument.

“Ow!” Cartman whined

“Grow up, fatass.”

Cartman drifted in and out of sleep as the bus ride continued, making sure his body was positioned away from Kyle. Within the hour, they were taking a left turn into a wooded area.

“Woo hoo!” Kenny shouted, startling more than one sleeping student awake.

One by one, each bus began pulling to a stop. Cartman rubbed sleepily at his eyes as Kyle spared a glance over at him. He had to fight back a wave of fondness as Cartman let out a cat-like yawn.

Everyone began gathering their things, most people cradling multiple backpacks and water bottles in their arms as teachers began ushering them out of the vehicles in lines. Kyle detested the elementary school vibe of it all. Having so many adults shepherding he and his peers made him feel childish and small.

Beside that, though, he was starting to enjoy himself in the new environment. Pine trees huddled above and around him, shrouding the group in a kind of comforting darkness. Kyle thought it almost felt...safe. Home-y. But something was missing, he realized.

Somehow, amongst the mass of students shuffling off of the buses, he’d lost track of Cartman. He glanced around briefly, hoping he wasn’t being too obvious, and realized he wasn’t nearby any of his close friends. Oh, well. He was sure they’d turn up shortly, breaking away from the crowd of other students to bug him like they always did.

For a few moments, he walked in silence. The roar coming from his fellow students seemed to fade into a distant buzz as he tilted his head back to look up into the trees. It was beautiful. Everything was perfectly green and free from human interruption. He felt so—

“Hey, Ky.” Kenny said from up ahead of him, turning around so that they made eye contact. 

Oh. So his appreciation of nature had only lasted for about...twenty seconds. That seemed fitting. His life wasn’t normally spent with many lapses in interest or action. Though it had been nice to have a moment to himself, he was grateful to Kenny for finding him in the crowd.

“Yeah?” He said.

Kenny doubled back, moving so that he and Kyle were walking side by side and hip checking him. After stumbling for a moment Kyle raised an eyebrow, silently asking why Kenny approached him.

“How’s your little crush going?” Kenny asked in a whisper, a playful smirk plastered across his mouth.

Kyle nearly choked on air, shoving Kenny away from him on instinct.

“Will you be quiet?” He hissed. “I never would have confided in you if I thought you’d be so fucking obnoxious about it.”

“I can’t help it, dude, it’s amazing! Just imagine how many jokes you’d be making if you found out that I liked Stan or someone.”

At that, Kyle laughed mockingly.

“Okay, Ken, let’s not act as though you wouldn’t totally suck Stan’s dick if he wanted you to.”

This jab gave Kyle the upper hand, as Kenny’s easy smile turned into something visibly flustered and he began to blush. Luckily for him, he was spared having to respond when Cartman sauntered over from where he’d been chatting with Butters. Stan arrived at the same moment,squeezing his way through Craig’s gang to get to them.

“Hello there, Kyle. Kenny.” Cartman drawled with a smirk.

Kyle ignored him and lagged behind, inspecting the hitchhikers that had stuck onto the fabric of Eric’s jacket during their walk. 

“Let me get these off of you, Cartman. Stay still.” 

Cartman grunted in some weak effort to protest but froze in his tracks, allowing Kyle to pick the sharp little burs from off of his back. Other students swerved around them, many of them shooting curious glances toward the weirdly intimate sight of Kyle brushing Cartman off.

“Alright, you’re all good.” He said when he was done. Cartman turned to send him a polite nod.

“Thanks, Kyle.”

Kenny almost couldn’t believe the sheer romantic tension between them, and he wondered if Kyle recognized how absolutely fucking domestic that moment had been.

“What are you daydreaming about over there, Kenny?” Cartman jeered. “Happy that the school’s providing all your meals for a week?”

“Cartman, be quiet! You’re just mad they’re making your fat ass walk the mile to the campground.” Kyle said.

Kenny watched as Cartman’s face flickered with interest, his attention immediately trained on Kyle. The two continued bickering, staying a few steps ahead while Stan and Kenny met eyes.

“Dude...” Stan whispered suspiciously. “Are Cartman and Kyle flirting?”

Kenny snickered, still half listening to the argument going on in front of him. With every word, Stan’s expression grew more and more horrified.

“Goddamn, Stan.” Kenny said. “Sometimes you are really fucking slow.”


End file.
